How to Host Shabbat Dinner: A Beginner's Guide

Hosting your first Shabbat dinner? Take a breath. It's simpler (and lovelier) than you think, and nobody has ever been kicked out of Shabbat for mispronouncing hagafen. The point is to put your phone down and gather your people around a table. Here's the order of the evening, the blessings, and how to handle guests.

What You Need to Host Shabbat Dinner

• Two candles and candlesticks, for zachor ("remember") and shamor ("keep"), the Torah's two ways of commanding Shabbat.
• A kiddush cup and wine or grape juice. Grape juice gets the same blessing as wine, so the kids (and the designated driver) can join in.
• Two challahs, a challah board, a cover and a knife. Two loaves recall the double portion of manna that fell on Fridays in the desert.
• A little dish of salt for the challah, and a cup for washing hands.
• Printed blessings. Nobody expects you to memorize anything.

If you're starting from scratch, our Shabbat candlesticks are a good place to begin. A few of our favorites:

Blue Oak Street Shabbat Candlesticks by kate spade new york · $53Small Silver Nickel Hammered Candlesticks by Yair Emanuel · $40Hand-Painted Fish Ceramic Shabbat Candle Holder · $35

The Order of a Friday-Night Shabbat Dinner

1. Light the candles about 18 minutes before sunset and say the blessing.
2. Sing Shalom Aleichem (optional), a short song welcoming the Shabbat angels to the table.
3. Bless the children (optional). Some families do this right after candles, others just before or after kiddush.
4. Kiddush. Raise the cup, say the blessing, take a sip and share.
5. Wash hands (netilat yadayim). Pour water from a cup over each hand, often twice on the right and twice on the left, and say the blessing. Customs vary on how many pours, and many people stay quiet from the washing until they've eaten the challah.
6. Hamotzi. Uncover the two challahs, say the blessing, then slice or tear, sprinkle with salt and pass it around.
7. Eat, sing, linger. This is the main event.
8. Birkat Hamazon, the blessing after the meal, often called "bentching." Booklets called benchers, many with transliteration, make it easy to follow.

Shabbat Dinner Blessings in Hebrew, Transliteration and English

The candle blessing

In most Ashkenazi homes, you light first and bless second: light the candles, wave your hands over the flames three times, cover your eyes and say the blessing below. Many Sephardi families say the blessing first and then light. Follow your family's custom.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו, וְצִוָּנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל שַׁבָּת

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Shabbat.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who made us holy with His commandments and commanded us to light the Shabbat candles.

Why light first? In that custom, saying the blessing brings in Shabbat, and you don't light a new flame once Shabbat has started.

The blessing over children

Place your hands on your child's head (or blow a kiss across the table if they're too cool for that). Start with the line for a boy or a girl:

יְשִׂימְךָ אֱלֹהִים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה

For a boy: Y'simcha Elohim k'Efrayim v'chi-Manasseh. May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.

יְשִׂימֵךְ אֱלֹהִים כְּשָׂרָה רִבְקָה רָחֵל וְלֵאָה

For a girl: Y'simeich Elohim k'Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel v'Leah. May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.

Then, for every child:

יְבָרֶכְךָ יְיָ וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ. יָאֵר יְיָ פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶּךָּ. יִשָּׂא יְיָ פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם.

Y'varech'cha Adonai v'yishm'recha. Ya'er Adonai panav eilecha vichuneka. Yisa Adonai panav eilecha v'yasem l'cha shalom.

May God bless you and protect you. May God's face shine on you and be gracious to you. May God turn toward you and grant you peace.

Many parents finish with a hug. Want the words on the wall? Our Blessing for Children print makes a sweet gift for new parents.

Kiddush: the blessing over the wine

The full Friday-night kiddush adds a passage from Genesis and a longer blessing for the day (it's in any siddur or bencher). If that's a lot for week one, plenty of new hosts start with just the blessing over the wine:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, borei p'ri hagafen.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.

Washing hands

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו, וְצִוָּנוּ עַל נְטִילַת יָדָיִם

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, v'tzivanu al n'tilat yadayim.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who made us holy with His commandments and commanded us about washing the hands.

Hamotzi: the blessing over challah

Keep the challahs covered during kiddush, then uncover them and hold both loaves while you say:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, הַמּוֹצִיא לֶחֶם מִן הָאָרֶץ

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth.

Our kiddush cups and challah boards come in everything from hand-painted ceramic to marble, so your table can look as much like you as the menu does.

Pink Oak Street Kiddush Cup by kate spade new york · $42Blue Bird Porcelain Kiddush Cup by Goodstein Ceramics · $83Canadian-Maple Challah Board - White and Gold · $115Embroidered Floral and Birds Challah Cover by Yair Emanuel · $28

When Does Shabbat Dinner Start?

Shabbat begins at sundown on Friday and ends after nightfall on Saturday. Candles are traditionally lit 18 minutes before sunset, though some communities use a different number (Jerusalem uses 40). Sunset moves every week, so check your local time on Hebcal. Most families sit down soon after candles, or after Friday-evening services.

Hanukkah heads-up: in 2026, Hanukkah starts on Friday, December 4, and the eighth night is Friday, December 11. On both nights, light the menorah first and then your Shabbat candles, all before sunset. Use candles big enough to burn until at least 30 minutes after dark. Our guide on how to light the Hanukkah candles has the full schedule.

Hosting Guests (and the Kosher Question)

Your table might hold a friend who keeps strictly kosher, a coworker who has never been to Shabbat, and your cousin who mostly came for the brisket. That's a great table.

• Ask kosher-keeping guests what works for them before you shop. Many will only eat food from a kosher kitchen, or sealed food with a kosher certification. A kosher caterer, or sealed certified food on disposable plates, keeps everyone fed and nobody awkward.
• Explain as you go. A one-line "here's what this blessing is for" makes first-timers feel included.
• Never pressure anyone to sing, sip or say anything.

What to Bring to Shabbat Dinner

Invited instead of hosting? Lucky you. Ask your host what they'd like. Kosher wine or grape juice, certified pareve (dairy-free) chocolates, flowers or a small piece of Judaica like a challah cover are safe bets. If they keep kosher, bring only sealed, certified food (nothing homemade) and skip dairy desserts, since Shabbat dinner is usually a meat meal. If your hosts are observant, give your gift before Shabbat starts.

Make-Ahead Tips for a Calm Friday

• Cook anything that reheats well (soup, brisket, kugel) a day ahead.
• Set the table, candles, cup, board and salt on Thursday night or Friday morning.
• Buy the challah if baking feels like too much. If any guests keep kosher, get it from a kosher bakery.
• Keep it simple. Roast chicken and a great salad is a beautiful Shabbat dinner.

Shabbat Dinner FAQ

What is the order of Shabbat dinner?

Candles, then the optional Shalom Aleichem and blessing of the children, then kiddush, handwashing and hamotzi over two challahs. Then dinner, and Birkat Hamazon (the blessing after the meal) to finish.

What time do you light Shabbat candles?

Traditionally 18 minutes before sunset on Friday, though some communities use a different number. Sunset changes every week, so check your local time on Hebcal.

How many Shabbat candles do you light?

At least two, for the Torah's two commands to "remember" and "keep" Shabbat. Many families add one for each child.

Can I use electric or LED Shabbat candles?

They're a smart choice for a dorm, hospital or rental. But many rabbis hold that you don't say the candle blessing over electric lights, while others allow it in some cases. If flameless is your only option, ask your rabbi about the blessing.

Do I need to cook kosher for Shabbat guests?

Ask them. Many guests who keep kosher will only eat food from a kosher kitchen or sealed food with a kosher certification, so a kosher-style menu cooked in your pots may not work.

Do you have to be religious to host Shabbat dinner?

Not at all. Plenty of people host a relaxed Friday-night dinner just to gather family and friends. Start with the parts that feel meaningful and add more as you go.

Shabbat shalom, and may your table always be full!